I have always thought of myself to be a very reproductive human in this world. Eventhough I am a woman with a good career, I can't deny that I have sometimes dreamt of having 8 children.

But now to have only one children as the start kick off is still full with blurred uncertanties. 17months (One and half year) of never-giving-up-trial has left me in depression, anger, misery, hopelessness, despair which resulted from failure in getting conceived.

Well, I tell you, it wasn't easy especially when you are surrounded with family and friends that do not have this problem. And they don't understand how people like us feel. They never will.

If they understand, they won't ask stupid question "why you still aint pregnant?, when you want to have kid?, and so on so forth. There's a lot of question that I find as very annoying and irritating.

Don't you think these Qs are so DAMN STUPID question. We are just human, and there are certain things that we can't control.

:-(

And my gloomy day continues, day by day, week by week, year by year.... and its TOUGH.

Dear,

I really really really really (to show that I am damn serious) pissed off with that woman!!!!!!

Why???

She opened the door  of her car and banged mine arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~!! Eventhough I was 10metres away I can still hear the bang sound.. and I said loudly DAMNNNNnnnnnnnnNNnnn.... she heard me and said sorry.. i turned back and just go away without saying.... I was so pissed off.. angry with her..

I have never opened my door the way she opened hers... give some respect to other people's car laaaaaaaa... its my new car okeeeeeeeeeeeeeee waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... the thing is when you want to open your door, you should have opened it with care so that your door will not touch others' door....paham takkkkkkkk???

I'm gonna check just after this if she left any marks on my car... if yes... then I will kick her *&^%$#%^&*%#$!!!!

But the problem is... i dont know her... aaaaaaaaahhhhhgggggggghhhhh

Sekian terima kasih

Hi Blogie~

Do you know that my blog counter is moving?? Surely it means that some people have visited my blog which is not expected since I have not updated this for soOoo long time.. Anyways, I'm happy to know that, at least you will not be alone kan kan kan.. :-)

Take care ye~ nothing much happening today. So allow me to stop here... tata~ :-D

To my blog visitors, thank you for visiting. Please come again...huhuhu

Dear Blog,

I have left you for more than a year and half already. And today I am not sure what is driving me to write something on you. Well,  a lot of things has changed. I have got married to the most wonderful man I have ever met. Thanks Allah for that.  My job is getting much better after 5 years joining the company. Sometimes I still can't believe how much my pay has been increased over these years. Thanks Allah again. :-)

Oh ya, I have just recently changed my "green frog" to another "pretty animal" which I haven't decided what to call it, maybe "the white rabbit" or "the white horse". Ahh, either one also does not sound cute.. Later I put some pictures of it ya..

Well, in case you are wondering, no I am still not pregnant. Well, it is not our luck yet, but we'll still keep trying until Allah wants us to enjoy the feeling of being a parent. Sometimes, it did stress me out! Who doesn't?

I am currently staying at JB for another project. Almost 2 years passes by without me noticing. More than 1 year I have lived separately with my hubby. The longest I have been staying with him is two weeks only.. which just happening during the last Raya. Can you believe it?

This year 2010, I have travelled to 3 countries. First which is in May. I went to Korea with hubby, omma n oppa merely for vacation. Something bad happened. And of course I will not detail it out here. It is a sad story and I would not want to open again the old scar.

In July 2010, I went to Paris. Again. It was my second time in Paris. I had been there in March 2007. This time, my husband followed me as well. It was pretty okay being at my hubby's side altho I have just found out that Paris is not a city that you think it is. French people are not friendly, not only that, they are arrogant, snobby. The city is very very dirty.

Lastly recently in Sept 2010, I have gone to US for the third time. I have suffered from unknown-cause-of-sickness while I was there. Maybe I am not fit to be in US. Something wrong with the weather, maybe? anyway, for this time around, I shopped like crazy, wasted lots of money. Bought lots of thing, just name it. levis, samsonite, oakley, MAC, perfumes, hardrock tees, coach, liz claiborne, and the things that I love the most is CORELLE~! Yahooooo~ :-D

Orait, I want to sleep already.. I update other things soon k.. Till then, byeeeeeeeeeee :p

The below entry has been hibernating in my draft folder for more than two months already... just waiting for its master to post it out... lalala~

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just got a bouquet of flowers recently which I have been longing like forever. ;) Those roses really cheered me up, thanks my love~ :-)

I am now back to offshore. :(

Hmm, I really2 feel so not excited to go to offshore this time around. *sigh* why must I go? why must I too committed with my work? But still I just can't throw this commitment away. I started it and I have to finish it off. 

Dear my God, please ease every single work of mine so that everything will run smoothly. Amin.

Well, Hari Raya Aidiladha has just passed. This is the best Raya Haji ever in my life. :))

p/s: To you-know-who-u-r, thanks for coming to my house. I really glad to have u there. You just brighten up my life which is always dark and gloomy :)) thanks my dear love~~

I think I'm in LOVE  ;)

Thanks Allah for finally giving me this LOVE  ;)

I really hope with all YOUR blessings, this LOVE  will remain at my heart until end of time. ;)

One fine rainy day...

Eisya: Mummy, hujan.
Eisya: Mummy, kete mummy basah.
Eisya: Mummy, nanti kete mummy demam.

Me: .............(speechless)

She's two years and 7 months now.... isn't she lovely :)

Love her so much~

Last Saturday, I went to Normah's reception which was held at her house in Klang Port. I just landed from Labuan after my stay of almost 4 weeks in offshore and headed directly to her house. Kinda crazy that I stayed that long in the middle of wide open sea. Gosh... This is all because the commitment that I gave to the project. Sometimes I do ask myself, why am I being too committed with my job.. Is it really worth to do so? :( Of course not. I have sacrificed most of my time due to work. That might be the reason why I am still single... Waaaaa..

Anyways, below are the normah's pictures taken on that happiest day of her life. :)

Rahmat and Normah. Sama cantik, sama padan. You guys will be happy until end of time, I pray for you. ;)

Eiwa, Along and her son, Afiy, Yati and her 7months baby, Me and Nai.

Below is the list of my great KGB members and their status:
1.Dayak   - Married with a daughter
2.Che      - Married with a daughter
3.Kak Ina - Married
4.Normah - Just married
5.Yati       - Married and mother to be ;)
6.Along    - Married with a son and second is coming ;)
7.Naa       - Married
8.Cheq    - Plan to get married on March09
9.Kujat    - Has BF and supposed to be getting married soon
10. Lani   - SIngle
11. Nai     - Single
12. Me     - Single

Apparently, only three of us are still single out of 12 persons which contributed of only 25% minority clan. it's sad isn't it ;-(<

I hope it is not too late to wish all Muslimin and Muslimah, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri and to whom it may concern, Maaf Zahir and Batin. I always forgive anyone who may have done any wrong things to me and I do hope others can do so as well.

On the first week I was back to shore, I didn't take any leave and still went to the office to settle couple of things. Then the next whole week I went back to my lovely hometown for Raya celebration. Well, there's always no days that better than days with family. :)

But, this time Raya is not as per last Raya. I can feel something is missing. :(  Anyhow, this is how my life goes...........

At the time of writing, I'm already at offshore. Immediately after Raya holidays, i came back to the platform and living my life as before. *sigh* boring but yet pathetic. Btw, this is my new "kampung". This is where I live now.